- Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, and Merry [CENSORED]
Martha Throebeck, December 22, 2001
We can cuss all we want, but we can never ever say the offensive "C-word".
- The Gulf... Of Wayne County
James Baughn, December 15, 2001
We turn off the paved road to visit "The Gulf" in Wayne County.
- Government Unveils New Airline Security Plans
Martha Throebeck, December 2, 2001
Terrorists won't stand a chance. And neither will the rest of us.
- There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch (Or Ballpark)
James Baughn, November 28, 2001
Proponents of a new Cardinals stadium claim it won't cost taxpayers a dime. Yeah, right.
- Santa Claus = Witchcraft
Martha Throebeck, November 17, 2001
If Harry Potter is Satanic, what about Santa Claus?
- MoDOT Discovers A Solution To Its Financial Problems
Martha Throebeck, October 19, 2001
The new Diversion Channel bridge will pay for itself.
- AmerenUE Announces New Power Plant For Downtown St. Louis
Martha Throebeck, September 8, 2001
If the St. Francois Mountains are off-limits, then what about St. Louis?
- Wal-Mart Announces In-Store Freeway System
Martha Throebeck, August 12, 2001
You'll soon need a driver's license for that shopping cart.
- Beat-Up Refrigerator... Or Modern Art?
Larry Cooner, August 11, 2001
A pile of junk by any other name is still a pile of junk.
- Bob Holden Deserves An 'A'
Martha Throebeck, July 22, 2001
The Missouri Governor does have some "accomplishments".
- Local Man Gets Three Years For Tossing Wasp Out Window
Martha Throebeck, July 20, 2001
But at least he won't get the death penalty.
- Bob Holden Unveils Fee Schedule
Martha Throebeck, July 19, 2001
The Governor makes it easy to do "business" with the state.
- "Bird Appreciation Day" Voted As Bob Holden's Number One Accomplishment
Martha Throebeck, July 9, 2001
Missourians will now better appreciate birds, including the turkey known as Bob Holden.
- Local Man Given Citation For Having Fun
Martha Throebeck, June 19, 2001
You better have a permit for that smile.
- Missouri shouldn't cast stones
James Baughn, June 9, 2001
Missouri's own history is littered with examples of atrocity and discrimination.
- Let's add another star to the flag
James Baughn, June 5, 2001
This is the final straw. It's time for Southern Illinois to secede.
- Bob Holden: The First 140 Days
James Baughn, May 28, 2001
Forget about President Bush... we need to examine how Missouri Governor Holden is doing.
- Drive Your Car To School, Go To Jail
Martha Throebeck, May 25, 2001
Cape Central takes a stand against the most dangerous weapon a student can bring to school.
- The Horrible, Terrible Stop Sign Conspiracy!
Martha Throebeck, May 23, 2001
Dark, sinister forces are plotting to destroy the city's only roundabout.
- Yes! The State Legislature Has Adjourned!
James Baughn, May 19, 2001
The Missouri legislature is no longer in session, so your life, liberty, and property is safe until next year.
- Who Needs A Lawn Mower?
Larry Cooner, May 16, 2001
Worried about high gas prices? Rent a cow!
- Boeing Lands In Cape Girardeau
Martha Throebeck, May 12, 2001
Cape Girardeau is proud to announce the latest addition to their fair city.
- Evaluating Class Evaluations
James Baughn, May 11, 2001
SEMO students should be able to evaluate the method by which classes are evaluated.
- Hollywood Markets Children's Material To Adults!
Martha Throebeck, May 3, 2001
The parade of non-violent puke-inducing TV programming must end!
- Missouri: Where The Potholes Form
Martha Throebeck, May 1, 2001
Who needs riverboat gambling when you've got pavement gambling?
- First Graders vs. Elected Officials
Martha Throebeck, April 19, 2001
When it comes to maturity, the two groups are indistinguishable.
- KFVS Sued For Trademark Infringement
Martha Throebeck, April 5, 2001
Welcome to the Heartland®
- A Solution To The Cardinals Stadium Problem
James Baughn, April 3, 2001
We've got a plan that will please the Cardinals and the taxpayers of Missouri.
- Let's Hope Planning & Zoning Never Returns To Cape County
James Baughn, March 29, 2001
People in other parts of the country might regret voting "yes" on planning and zoning.
- Do We Have A President Or A King?
James Baughn, March 21, 2001
Just how much control does the President actually have over the economy?
- Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Baseball Players?
James Baughn, March 17, 2001
Major league baseball teams really need our sympathy and support right now.
- Missouri's Racial Profiling Law: Good Idea, Bad Implementation
James Baughn, March 12, 2001
It's no surprise that many small, rural police departments have failed to comply with Missouri's new racial profiling law.
- Racial Profiling Laws Don't Go Far Enough!
Martha Throebeck, March 11, 2001
Racial profiling is bad enough. But what about bumper sticker profiling?
- Tragedy -- Or Golden Opportunity To Pursue Your Political Agenda?
James Baughn, March 6, 2001
When a tragedy occurs, please don't jump up and down and scream "Yes!!" just because it bolsters your particular political agenda.
- Missouri Promotes "Buy Cigarettes But Don't Inhale" Program
Martha Throebeck, March 6, 2001
How can we make more money from cigarette taxes without promoting cigarettes?
- Welcome To The State Formerly Known As Missouri
Martha Throebeck, February 24, 2001
If sports teams can do it, why can't the government?
- Pro-Vegetarian Ads In Southeast Missouri? Huh?
James Baughn, February 8, 2001
Missouri is the last place you'd expect people to stop eating meat.
- The Silent Killer: School Cafeteria Mystery Meat
James Baughn, February 6, 2001
One school is taking a stand against exploding pieces of chicken.
- Loss Limits? Nah, We Need Gain Limits -- For Casinos
James Baughn, February 3, 2001
We have a plan to make Missouri the number one state for gambling.
- There Ought To Be A Law! Or Several Laws!
James Baughn, January 23, 2001
If CON is the opposite of PRO, does that mean CONgress is the opposite of PROgress? Maybe we can change that.
- Are You Opposed To Bush's Tax Cut?
James Baughn, January 7, 2001
Nothing says you can't pay more taxes than you're supposed to.
- Could Cairo Become The Largest City In The US?
Martha Throebeck, January 3, 2001
In an effort to increase traffic ticket revenue, Cairo, Illinois is now 1,200 miles long.
