- Cape To Capitalize On Federal Courthouse Disaster
Martha Throebeck, March 16, 2008
Federal incompetence is good for business.
- Congress To Require Minimum Allowances For Children
Martha Throebeck, January 10, 2008
Child labor laws just got a lot more laborious
- Move Over Atkins, Here Comes The Low-Carbon Diet
Martha Throebeck, January 5, 2008
A new year, a new diet
- City Installs "Articial Potholes" To Help Enforce Speed Limits
Martha Throebeck, December 28, 2007
Driving will never be the same.
- Missouri Provides Inspiration For New Military Weapons
Martha Throebeck, December 26, 2007
The terrorists won't stand a chance.
- "Happy Holidays" No Longer Politically Correct
Martha Throebeck, November 28, 2007
It's never been a better time to be Scrooge.
- Test Scores Up 1000% After School Expels Dumb Students
Martha Throebeck, November 26, 2007
It's hard to argue with the test results.
- Dateline 2012: City Overwhelmed By Art Galleries
Martha Throebeck, February 22, 2007
We don't want to revitalize downtown too much.
- Hospitals Sign "Treaty of Kingshighway"
Martha Throebeck, February 20, 2007
The war of words between the two hospitals is over.
- Snowstorm Dumps .36 Inches Of Snow; State Of Emergency Declared
Martha Throebeck, February 1, 2007
Just think of the stories you'll be able to tell your grandchildren.
- Neckred County To Hold Christmas Double-Wide Tour
Martha Throebeck, December 3, 2006
Get ready for more Christmas cheer than you can stand
- Dateline 2009: Neighborhood Ruined By Senior Delinquents
Martha Throebeck, October 15, 2006
Here come the electric scooters. There goes the neighborhood.
- I'll Put It Bluntly: Fee Offices Must Go
James Baughn, May 5, 2006
Eminent domain is only the tip of the iceberg.
- Newsflash: SEMO Excommunicated From NCAA For "Political Correctness" Violations
Martha Throebeck, April 22, 2006
Political correct isn't a suggestion, it's an NCAA bylaw.
- SEMO Might Sell Kent Library To Raise Money For River Campus
Martha Throebeck, February 23, 2006
Buy Kent Library and receive a 50% discount on Johnson Hall!
- Illinois Bans Cellphones While Walking
Martha Throebeck, January 13, 2006
Welcome to Illinois. Please leave your Common Sense at the state line.
- Court: "Happy Holidays" Just As Offensive As "Merry Christmas"
Martha Throebeck, December 12, 2005
This isn't just a slippery slope, it's a vertical cliff!
- Redbirds Ripoff: The World's Most Expensive Garage Sale
James Baughn, November 27, 2005
The Cardinals care about their fans... money
- I Hate To Gloat, But...
James Baughn, November 14, 2005
Despite the seriousness of the rioting in France, it's hard not to smile.
- Kansas Suffering From Serious Inferiority Complex
James Baughn, October 3, 2005
There's no reason to emulate California.
- Never Time Tales Presents: Them-There Giants
William Palmer, September 21, 2005
A story about giants -- or, to be politically correct, vertically unchallenged lifeforms
- PORK = Projects Organized for Receiving Kickbacks
James Baughn, August 13, 2005
Compassionate conservatism is just another name for "tax-and-spend".
- The Solution to Chicago Corruption
James Baughn, August 8, 2005
We should use surveillance machines to put an end to political machines.
- Rated 'T' For Tyrant
James Baughn, August 4, 2005
We face a far greater threat than violent video games
- Local Man Discovers Elusive "Paducah Shortcut"
Martha Throebeck, July 19, 2005
But is this all a hoax?
- Racial Bigots Ecstatic Over Supreme Court Ruling
Martha Throebeck, June 25, 2005
Segregation is legal again, thanks to the Supreme Court.
- Local Baseball Player "Fails" Drug Test
Martha Throebeck, May 31, 2005
This player is obviously not ready for the big leagues.
- The Courtship Of A Lady And A Sir
William Palmer, May 23, 2005
And now for something completely different...
- Gov. Blunt Is Playing With Fire [Updated 5/18]
James Baughn, May 1, 2005
In order to save money now, the state could be opening itself up to massive lawsuits in the future.
- A Rebuttal To The Cry-Me-A-River Campus
James Baughn, May 9, 2005
The college won't get any donations from this graduate. Period.
- Newsflash: Scientists Discover Person With "Ideal Body Weight"
Martha Throebeck, April 25, 2005
It's obviously an aberration.
