Man Hospitalized After Drinking From Expired Water Bottle

Fake News written by Martha Throebeck on Friday, March 4, 2011

from the step-away-from-the-plastic-bottle dept.

JACKSON, MO -- It didn't seem like that big of a deal. Bob Schmuckley grabbed a water bottle from his fridge and guzzled it before his morning walk, something he does every day.

But this wasn't an ordinary bottle. It had expired the previous week.

"I usually don't pay any attention, but I happened to noticed that the bottle was 6 days too old," Schmuckley said from his hospital room. "At that point I started to get sick and my wife rushed me to the emergency room."

Doctors at the Cape Girardeau hospital, known this week as SaintHEALTH Medical Industrial Complex, were gravely worried about the expired water that Schmuckley consumed. "This is serious business," Dr. Frank Geldgetter said. "The plastics in these bottles can quickly degrade, contaminating the water with a dangerous substance known as dihydrogen monoxide."

Following a stomach pump procedure, doctors believe that most or all of the contaminated water has been removed from his system. But only time will tell if Schmuckley can make a full recovery.

"It's lucky that he didn't drink the entire bottle," Dr. Geldgetter said. "If his wife hadn't rushed him to the ER, it's hard telling what might have happened."

The bottled water industry recommends replacing water bottles every week, even if they haven't been opened. "It's just not worth the risk," said industry spokesperson Eric Pheermawnger. "If you find a bottle that has expired, please take it a hazardous waste disposal facility for immediate destruction so that it isn't accidentally consumed."