Haiti Relief Money Accidentally Sent To Hayti
Fake News written by on Saturday, January 30, 2010
HAYTI HEIGHTS, MO -- One little typo was responsible for sending $1.6 million in charitable donations to the beleagured town of Hayti Heights instead of the beleagured nation of Haiti. Intended to be used to secure clean drinking water in Haiti, the money will instead be used to secure clean drinking water in Hayti Heights.
"My bad," admitted Gil Teeman, the director of the Global Institue For Worthwhile Charitable Giving Despite What Rush Limbaugh Says. "We're under a lot of pressure to get aid to Haiti as soon as possible, and I accidentally selected 'Hayti' instead of 'Haiti' on the computer screen while managing one of our bank accounts."
Hoping to save face, the board for the Global Institute decided earlier this morning to allow Hayti Heights to keep the money. "One of our goals is to provide clean drinking water for people worldwide, and it's clear that Hayti Heights needs our help," a press release announced.
Some donors are a little miffed about the institute's mistake, but others expressed support for Haiti's...er, Hayti's plight. "Charity begins at home," said a major donor who wished to remain anonymous, but was quick to point out that he "is not Rush Limbaugh."
This isn't the first time that a local town has been accidentally confused with an overseas locale. Just last year, Cairo, Illinois received a check for $1.1 million from the United Nations destined for Cairo, Egypt. Unfortunately, Cairo city officials were unable to cash the oversized check because the fleet of city vehicles had been repossessed just hours before. By the time somebody made it to a check-cashing store, the United Nations had already issued a stop payment order on the check.
"Missouri has way too many towns named for foreign places," said an expert at the Federal Bureau Of Talking Heads Always Available For Media Interviews. "It's a wonder that Bolivar, Missouri, hasn't been sued by Bolivia for trademark violation after misappropriating the name of their hero Sim?n Bol?var. And if the Spanish government knew just how badly Missourians pronounced New Madrid, they would be up in arms."