"Bird Appreciation Day" Voted As Bob Holden's Number One Accomplishment

Fake News written by Martha Throebeck on Monday, July 9, 2001

from the this-state-has-gone-to-the-birds dept.

JEFFERSON CITY -- Now that Gov. Bob Holden has been in office for six months, what piece of legislation represents his crowning achievement? That question was posed to several thousand citizens across the state as part of a survey conducted by a group of leading newspapers.

The result? The vast majority cited the passage of SB 58, which re-establishes "Bird Appreciation Day" on March 21st.

"This legislation demonstrates to the world how cosmopolitan and eco-sensitive the Show-Me State can be," explained the founder of the Southwest Bollinger County Birdwatchers Association. "Now Missourians will be able to compete in the global marketplace and meet the challenges of the 21st Century."

Most respondents to the survey weren't quite as upbeat about birdwatching. "I don't care one whit about watching some half-fluted red-eared thrush-brushing half-bald sparrow or any kind of bird. But I couldn't think of anything else positive that Bob Holden or the legislature has accomplished this year. So I ended up voting for 'Bird Appreciation Day' as the number one Missouri accomplishment of 2001."

The respondent added off-hand, "At least the act of appreciating birds doesn't cost taxpayers anything, doesn't require a 'service fee' to be deducted from my paycheck, doesn't provide corporate welfare for baseball team owners, doesn't involve a million dollar inauguration party, and doesn't force the state to hire three new cabinet-level officers at $120,000 each. All things considered, that's a good deal."

Other accomplishments mentioned by survey respondents include the designation of February as "Missouri Lifelong Learning Month" and the establishment of "Alzheimer's Awareness Day" on the first Tuesday of March.