Humor Writers Desperate For A Bush Victory
Fake News written by on Wednesday, November 8, 2000
Humorists, satirists, comedy writers, and political impersonators all across the nation are desperately hoping that Goerge Dubya Bush can finally win this Election From Hell.
Explained one comedy writer for the "SeeBS Late, Late, Late, Late Show", "If Gore wins, we won't have anything to poke fun at. We've become spoiled by the Bill Clinton administration, an era in which humorists experienced the kind of prosperity that has never been witnessed during all of human history. But if Al Bore wins... we might have to get day jobs!"
The jokes about Gore's lack of personality have already grown stale. "We still get laughs when we use the words 'cigar' and 'intern' in the same sentence," said a writer for "Saturday Night Recorded From An Earlier Broadcast". "But everybody has stopped laughing at Gore jokes -- there's just nothing funny about this man."
He added coyly, "Bush jokes, on the other hand, are still going strong. We could have a lot of fun with another Bush in the White House. From making bonehead comments to mispronouncing words, Bush will be the next best thing to Bill Clinton for humor writers. It won't be the same, of course -- the Golden Age Of Political Satire will end on January 15th."
This is no laughing matter. One Saturday Night Recorded writer jumped out a window after hearing the mistaken news that Gore had carried Florida and was poised to win the election. Thankfully, his suicide attempt was cut short by the small fact that he was on the first floor of a single-story building.
"Forget about prescription drugs, public education, or abortion," said the assistant editor of "The Bunyan", an online fake news publication. "By far the largest issue is character -- we want a real character in the White House who will provide an endless stream of humor material. I voted for Bush. I hope a bunch of people in Florida did too."