New Madrid County Central Public School Lunch Menu

Fake News written by David Lee Deville on Saturday, April 1, 2000

from the what?-no-mystery-meat? dept.

For the week of April 3rd

Monday: Johnny-Rib-on-Bun

Chitlins

Hominy

Funnel Cake

Can of Stag

Ritalin

Tuesday: Barbecued Pork Steak

Hog Jawls

Grits w/butter

Pudding Pop

Can of Stag

Ritalin

Wednesday: Barbecued Chicken

Collared Greens

Pickled Pigs Feet

Rocky Mountain Oysters

Can of Stag

Ritalin

Thursday: Head Cheese Sub Sandwich

Tripe

Rooster Fries

Paw-Paw Fruit Salad

Can of Stag

Ritalin

Electro-shock Therapy

Friday: Fried Catfish Tenders

Barbecued Chicken Wings

Fried Okra

Rhubarb Pie

40 Ouncer of Stag

Valium

Trigger Lock (must be returned on Monday)

Condom (please do not return on Monday, if used)